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Drifting Around

I am a Swede with CMT who is drifting around and around on my bicycle. When I cycle through the world it is almost like I don´t have the disease. When I am cycling I do not have to worry about twisting my ankle. On the bike my fingers rarely give me any problem. I exist in my own world, where I seldom let the disease get to me, and when it does I am strong enough to deal with it. In my world time has a different meaning. I don't care if I have to work for hours with a simple thing that normally should take a few hours, the important thing is that I manage to do it. I don't care if I look like a fool when I go to the places I want to see even if it means I have to go on all my four, or slide forwards on my arse.

When I stop moving forward and entering the real world, the doubts soon comes and the depression with it. Suddenly everything seems hard and not worth the effort. All my energy go to fight off the depression, but I am too weak to hold it off. I soon turns into a vegetable, I have to shut down my brain, to be able to handle the depression. Suddenly a world that moments ago where so beautiful and gave me such a joy now means nothing to me.

Once again I failed to go home. Am I bound to drift around and round? Never be able to stop? The danger on the road doesn't scare me, what I am afraid of is go home, fall into a new depression and not have the money to escape into my world again.

Oh well this time I am going to be gone for two years and during that time I will try to accept my disease. And hopefully be able to have a choice if I want to stay home or drifting around. The world is a magnificent place and I want to see it while I still can

I am now in USA and would love to meet some others with CMT. I will soon be in Philadelphia and after that I am heading to Washington. If you live there and want to meet, please contact me.

If you live some other place and want to meet me you can go to www.driftingaround.se to see approximately where I will be cycling in USA